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Many suffer from CMD

October 11, 2009 - Kathleen Palumbo
Phil sat behind me at one of this weekend’s sporting events. Phil has CMD. For those of you unfamiliar with the affliction, it stands for Conversational Monopoly Disorder. Phil talks only about Phil.   
During the first quarter of the game those of us seated near Phil learned that he recently suffered not only a debilitating infection, but also gall stones. I will spare you the graphic details not spared any of us. The second quarter focused on his musical tastes. Third quarter – the sleep habits of his family. 
By the fourth quarter I had donned ear muffs. The fact that it was 38 degrees only helped to disguise the fact that they also muffled the ramblings of Phil. I envisioned his immediate seatmates searching the stands for plastic ware capable of putting an end to either his or their own lives. 
Sadly, Phil may be a very nice man. Unfortunately, like many others, he lacks the ability to actually participate in a two-way conversation, or, more simply put, he isn’t interested in what anyone else may have to say.   
Maybe the future offers hope. Perhaps a few “It’s not all about me” psychotherapy sessions, or for more advanced cases such as Phil’s, some electric shock treatments followed by a month or two in isolation.  I only know something’s gotta give; left untreated, CMD can lead to the phenomenon known as NOWTBAY, or No One Wants to Be Around You!! Do you know any “Phils?”


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